My very own criminal justice system;

Seen as though I'm supposed to be a law student, I think I'll start my website off with something related to the law. By the way, if you're off to university soon and not sure what to do, make sure you think long and hard about law, as it is shit. Anyway, I was reading an old report from Mike Newell the other day, head of the prison governors association. Basically, he stated that 330 inmates are being held in police cells, as prisons across England and Wales have nearly run out of spaces to hold prisoners. Isn't that just brilliant. Can you imagine having to stay in a police cell? I bet those things smell like piss, and the only thing you have to sleep on is something that looks like a gym mat.

So what's the solution? There are various answers to this. We could build more prisons, start storing prisoners under the sea, or even, as my grandad dreams of; put them to death. These seem like good ideas don't they? Perhaps, but I'll tell you what's an even better idea......my idea. Basically, instead of putting criminals in prisons, giving them hefty sentences, we do away with prisons entirely. "Do away with prison sentences!" you cry. Yes, we do away with prison sentences and replace them with what I call "Hit Squads." Basically, the government sells all the land prisons are on, and uses the money to employ some seriously bad ass mother-fuckers who travel round the country and administer justice.Possible candidates for the hit squads are;

Chuck Norris

Jean Claude Van Damme

And filthy mouthed comedian Roy Chubby Brown

Just imagine, you've been seen shop lifting, and are sat at home one day when you hear a knock at the door. Rising from your chair bought from stolen cash, you go to open it, and to your surprise, standing there is Chuck Norris. KAPOW, he delivers a crushing sidekick to your kidney, and in no time at all, you are on the floor, clutching your injured side.

"Next time kid, it'll be much worse."

Seriously, who would commit any crime if they knew that they could get battered for the slightest offence?

What about people who try and run? Of course, there will always be the criminals who will try and escape justice, but not to worry. If the government were to sell all of its prison land to property developers, they would make a fortune. They would also not have to pay prison officers wages any more, or pay for prison meals. With this money, they would be able to employ a shit load of hit squad members, every other person would be a member of these squads; your uncles, your nephews, even your grandma. As an added bonus, anyone who tries to run can be shot on sight. Various levels of punishment will be served up, depending on the seriousness of each crime committed. Common theft or assault for example may result in a broken finger or minor beating, but Murder will result in a severe, near death hail of kicks, punches and fireballs.

But what about human rights? You ask. Fuck human rights.